Hopelessly
by sunnycouger
Summary: The final prequel to the Somewhere In Between Arc: Ginny left Draco standing in Hogwarts vowing not to mourn for him. What was going through her head as she returned home to the Burrow and how does she handle the sad realization that it's not always good


Hopelessly

**Author: **sunnycouger (sunnycouger@lineone.net) 

**Category:** Drama, Angst 

**Rating**: PG-13 

**Disclaimer:** The characters of Harry Potter don't belong to me, I'm just taking them out to play and I promise to get them home to JK Rowling in time for the next book :) But, just in case you were in any doubt as to who they belong to have a look at this: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song lyrics at the end are from the band Train and the song Hopeless (which I have listened to way too much when writing this ;)) So I don't own those either... 

**Authors Notes:** This is it, the final part of the Somewhere In Between arc. Basically all you need to know from that is that Ginny left Draco when she believed he was going to kill himeslf by believeing his mother wanted to see him. You can get the back story in Somewhere In Between and if you want to you can also read the stand alone prequels that charts their relationship. The order is: 

Somewhere In Between and the following prequels: 

- Of Purple Mice and Floating Paperweights 

- In The End 

- It Started With A Kiss 

- Meet the Parents...Weasley Style 

Also, I HIGHLY recommend the Train song that inspired this fic: it's called Hopeless and if it is in your power to give it a listen. A great song! 

Thanks to everyone who reviewed all the previous parts, you guys are the best! Plus, a special mention to Liv for being beta :) 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

She stood outside the door, the trail of tears still streaming down her face. She had left him. He was going to die and she had left him. 

Why wouldn't he listen to her? Why wouldn't he understand? Why wouldn't he ask for help? 

Why couldn't she stop caring? 

She shook her head and wiped her eyes abruptly. She had to forget. She couldn't let anyone know. He wasn't anything to her anymore. 

Not a thing. 

She knocked the door and waited on the reply. As the door opened she forced herself to smile, hoping it hid how much she was dying inside. 

"Gin? What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night," Bill said with concern as he stood back from the door. "Are you all right? Nothings happened?" 

She smiled slightly as she tried vainly to sound happy. "Surprise?" 

Her elder brother ushered her in the house. "Okay, fake smiles and tear tracks aside, what's going on?" 

"I don't know what you mean, why does something have to be wrong?" 

"Oh, I don't know...the fact that you look like you have spent the train journey from Hogsmeade to here crying a river kinda points in that direction." 

She smiled weakly as she walked to the kitchen. "Well, I apparated from Hogsmeade so you're wrong...where's Mum and Dad?" 

He began heating some water with his wand as he sat down. "They're in London looking at Harry's new flat with Sirius and Remus." 

"Ah," she said simply. Of course they were there, they had told her that already. 

"So? Am I going to have to guess what happened?" 

She shook her head. "Nothing happened, why do I need an excuse to come and see my family?" 

"Do you want to go round in circles all night, Gin? Okay, what did he do? I don't think he would have cheated on you because he seems pretty serious about you..." 

She scoffed sadly and poured herself a coffee as he looked at her wide eyed. 

"He cheated on you?! I'll kill him, to think I stuck up for that no good scu..." 

"No, no Bill! He, he didn't cheat on me, he would never..." she took a deep breath as she shook her head. He would never cheat on her, she knew that. If only that was what the problem was, she could have handled that. "I just wouldn't worry about killing him," she looked down sadly. "No, his father will do that first." 

Bill sat his cup down abruptly. "Excuse me? Would you like to say that again?" 

"No. I don't want to say it again. I came here so I didn't have to think about it." 

Bill reached over and took her hand. "Is he involved in the Death Eaters again?" 

She let out a bitter laugh. "No, he's not. Not exactly." 

"Where is he?" 

"Hogwarts probably. I don't know, I don't care," she said weakly, hoping she sounded more convincing than she felt. "He's going to see his 'mother', she's apparently too ill to travel to him." 

Bill rubbed his eyes for a second before he looked at her. "I thought she refused to see him?" 

"She did. Last week she contacted him, he was so happy. Now...he can't see it. He won't see it. He believed her when she said she made the break from Lucius, and he's going to her. It's a trap...he won't listen to me, or Snape, or Dumbledore, or...or anyone." 

He reached over and took her hand as she closed her eyes trying to focus her emotions elsewhere. She did not care. She didn't care. 

She did care, she couldn't stop it. 

"He's not stupid, he must know that it's okay or he wouldn't go. I wouldn't worry. I mean, he wouldn't be that stupid. He's a Malfoy, he should know how conniving his family can be." 

"He was desperate for her to talk to him..." she bit her lip as she looked down. "He never thought it would happen even though he kept trying. He just...he needed her to say she understood. He needed someone who would love him unconditionally. He needed a mother." 

"Everyone needs a mother, Gin. But trust me, he's a smart guy. He will have checked all the options." 

"I was the one who said that they would see each other. He didn't believe it and I told him..." she whispered quietly. It was true, way back when he first turned away from the Death Eaters she was the one who had talked to him about his mother. 

_"So, is that your mother? She looks...different now." _

_He took the locket, closed it back up and put it into his robes. "She is different now. We're all different now." _

__

_She nodded her head as she looked at him. "How did you get it? The locket I mean?" _

__

_"My mother gave me it as a parting gift as I probably won't see her again," he said simply as he looked away from her. _

__

_Ginny looked at him aghast, what was he talking about? She was his mother. "Of course you'll see her again." _

__

_He turned to her icily. "When? At the annual 'I Betrayed The Dark Lord' ball?" _

__

_She inched back. "No...but, you know...she's your mother." _

__

_"She's a Death Eaters wife. The fact that she's my mother is irrelevant."_

"He said, he said back then that because she was a Death Eaters wife, the fact that she was his mother didn't come into it. I told him he was being ridiculous. And now...now..." she laughed as she stood up and waved her hands hopelessly, "now I would give anything for him to believe that: once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater..." 

"Does that apply to Draco as well?" 

She turned around and shook her head. "It doesn't have to, if he was a Death Eater he would be safe." 

"He would be evil..." 

"He would be alive. Talk about a no win situation..." 

"Did you leave him?" 

She nodded her head and forced a smile. "Dad will want to throw a party." 

Bill shook his head as he stood up and put his arms around his little sisters shoulders. "No one wanted you miserable. Give it a few days...things might be better." 

She sighed and closed her eyes. In a few days he would be dead. "Maybe..." 

Bill sighed as he ushered her towards the staircase. "Go, get some sleep, because you know that George is here while Katie is at her mothers right? Well, he's going to be pretty pissed when he hears." 

"Where's Percy?" 

Bill let out a laugh. "Perce is being Perce and working over-time. He should stroll home at about 1pm tomorrow." 

She sighed. "If he gives me a 'I told you so' I can't guarantee I won't curse him..." 

Bill shook his head with a smile. "See, that's why I'm glad that you all are adults now. Mum and Dad won't be able to blame me now..." 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

She sat on her bed staring at the ceiling as she touched the necklace on her neck contemplatively. What was he doing now? Thinking of her? Changing his mind? Being tortured? Begging them to stop? 

"Dammit Ginny, you're a bloody big girl and he's a big boy. You don't need him." She stood up and stood in front of the mirror as she punctuated each word. "You do not need him." 

"That's right, deary. You don't need anyone" the mirror said in response. 

Ginny smiled absently. "Don't I wish that was the case?" 

She looked over to her clock and shook her head. It was 3.14am, too early to get up and too late to sleep. Not that she could sleep anyway. She shook her head and groaned as she grabbed her cloak. She was not going to be one of those pathetic sad cases that sat and moped, she was going to go for a walk and clear her head. Clear her head and move on. 

She walked to the door and paused when she heard Bill's voice in the hallway. 

"It's after 3 in the morning! Come on, give her some time!" 

She struggled to hear what was being said but assumed that he was talking to her parents. She sighed as she walked to the bottom of the stairs quietly. What she didn't expect was the voice that was speaking quietly. 

"I do not have any time! Have you any idea how difficult it is to do this? She took the Burrow off the floo network! I am sitting here with two wizards helping me project, it is not a pleasant experience. I need to talk to her. Please go and get her." 

Bill looked at the projection and then towards the staircase where Ginny was stood open mouthed. He asked her silently with his eyes whether or not she would speak to Draco to which she merely shook her head. She couldn't say goodbye to him again. 

Bill closed his eyes and looked back to Draco and shook his head sadly. "She's...washing her hair...she's in the bath, relaxing. Sorry." 

Ginny covered her mouth as she saw Draco run his hand through his hair in exasperation. "Will you not go and tell her I need to speak with her? It's urgent..." He looked at Bill pleadingly, his phantom form looking fragile as his grey eyes looked even paler than usual as he spoke. "Please Bill, don't make me beg. I need to talk to her, I don't have a lot of time. Please." 

Bill closed his eyes as he glanced over at Ginny who sat huddled in the corner covering her mouth to stop from speaking out. He shook his head as he looked at Draco. 

"Draco, I would go get her if I thought it would help anything but she just needs time. I'll tell her you stopped by, but...I'm just not sure if it will do any good. Listen, I know how much pain this method of projecting is, just...go and get some sleep, okay?" 

"You think I can sleep?" 

Bill looked at him and smiled sadly. "No, but...you need to try. I'll talk to Ginny, I promise." 

Draco nodded his head as he exhaled sharply. "Just...tell her...tell her that I...I...love..." He closed his eyes before he continued slowly. "Never mind, that probably doesn't matter. Just...tell her I'm sorry, but I have to do it. I have to." 

Bill nodded his head. "Will do. She'll probably put the Burrow back on the floo network tomorrow. You know what she's like." 

"I do..." Draco nodded and turned his head around and for a brief second Ginny's eyes widened as their eyes met. Did he see her? She closed her eyes to avoid his pained gaze while he looked in her direction sadly before turning his head back to Bill and nodding his head. "I should go, I apologise for bothering you." 

Bill shook his head. "Not at all. Good luck." 

Draco nodded his head as his phantom form faded away from view leaving an empty space where he had seemed so substantial only a few minutes before. Ginny stood abruptly and walked out the door before Bill could say a word. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

She got back to the Burrow late in the morning after spending the night apparating and walking all over trying to forget the pain etched in his face and the desperation in his voice. Trying not to be haunted by his image. 

It had taken a while before she could even consider facing Bill and it had taken an owl to Dumbledore asking him to prevent the staff assisting Draco in projection before she could face going back home: at least she knew he wouldn't show up again. That was what she went home for after all. 

"Hey, Ginny...you want to come into the shop with me today? Angelina and Fred are taking Sammy, Simon and Anabelle to the medi-wizards for their 6 month update so I'm on my own: which is perfect timing on your part. Finally I have someone here I can have a real conversation with, so...are you home for good or...you know, sulking for a few days before going back to the slime ball? Because I know this really cool guy who is available..." George said with unbelievable cheer as she walked into the Burrows's kitchen to see her two brothers sitting there. 

"Nice going George, you know, when I said keep things light I meant normal not scary. I really don't think now is the time to be setting her up," Bill rolled his eyes as he looked at his brother. 

George looked at Bill and shook his head. "You have to get back on the broom once you fall off. That's what Charlie did and look at him now...all smitten." 

"Yeah, it only took him 2 years to get back on the broom...good call." 

"If you are just going to nitpick you should just be quiet," George said as he turned to Ginny. "So, how about it?" 

Ginny sighed as she sat down and looked at her brother. "Thanks George, but I'm good." 

George nodded his head as Bill gave him a 'I told you so' smirk before turning to Ginny. "So, Ginny, where did you go? I looked around but you weren't about." 

"Nowhere, 'Dad'," Ginny said wearily as she reached over and grabbed an apple. "And don't worry, I didn't talk to strangers or cross the road without looking both ways either." 

George looked at Bill in concern before turning back to Ginny. "Hey, look who woke up feeling all sarcastic? He was only asking a question. Admittedly he is taking the patriarch role on a little," George said with a look to Bill, "but that is to be expected since he is feeling broody." 

"I am not feeling broody, only women feel broody," Bill said indignantly. "It's Katie and Penny that are feeling broody, I feel fine." 

"*Sure* you do, I believe you. I mean it must be hard being on the wrong side of 30 and alone when all your family is hooked up? I am amazed you handled it so well..." 

Bill gasped and glared at his brother. "I am 32 and that is hardly over the bloody hill!" 

Ginny couldn't help but smile as George reached over and patted his brothers shoulder condescendingly. "Of course it's not! I'll tell you what, after I marry Katie you can be Godfather to one of ours..." 

Bill spoke through gritted teeth as he replied. "I will have children of my own by that time..." 

"Sure you will!" George said with a wink to Ginny as he span around to look at her. "So, you look knackered. What are you doing today?" 

Ginny shrugged her shoulders as she took a bite from the apple and forced herself to swallow it. "Don't know..." 

"You should maybe get some sleep...those bags under your eyes look like they could hold a small child." 

Ginny looked at George and gave a weak smile. "You know how to make a girl feel good about herself. Why has Katie not left you yet?" 

"Because she has the patience of a saint," he said without missing a beat while giving a broad grin. 

Ginny laughed slightly before putting the apple down, unable to force anymore of it down. George sighed and stood up. 

"Well, some of us have work to go to," he said as he looked at Ginny and shook his head. "Is it okay if we can maybe get the fireplace back on the network for when I get home? I hate apparating all the way, you know I have to stop like 4 times on the way." 

Bill let out a laugh as he looked at his brother with a smirk. "Yeah, the poor baby keeps getting lost...how did you get your license?" 

George shook his head with a laugh. "Apparating isn't my thing...my mind tends to wander and I end up all over the place. Small distances are fine..." 

"You better not say that to Dad or Percy, they will make you retake the test..." 

George groaned as he fastened his cloak. "Don't remind me, Mum's already busting Dad about it: she's scared I'll get splinched - again." 

Ginny looked at her brother and smiled. "I can't think why..." 

"Hey, it's only happened once and trust me it hurt enough to make sure I don't do it again. Just," he leant over and ruffled her hair affectionately, "be a good little sister and put us back on the network." 

Before Ginny had a chance to reply her brother had apparated out of sight. She sighed as she shook her head. "No can do..." 

Bill looked at her nervously. "So, can I talk yet without you yelling at me or should I just sit over here and be quiet?" 

She sighed and looked at him apologetically. It wasn't his fault that she was in a bad mood. "I'm sorry..." 

He shook his head. "You have nothing to apologise for. I was just wondering how you were feeling? Especially after last night." 

Ginny shook her head and smiled. "I feel good. I mean, I'm a bit tired but well, I think that's to be expected..." 

"You feel good?" Bill looked at her disbelievingly as he took a drink from his cup. "That's...surprising, because you looked like you were ready to throw up last night, and Draco didn't look half that good." 

Ginny stood up and began clearing away her dishes. "Yeah well, you were wrong and you don't need to worry about him anymore." 

"I get the idea he'll be back. You know, it wouldn't kill you to talk to him, he looked like death warmed up." 

"Yeah well, pretty soon he'll just look like death," she said softly as she closed her eyes before turning around and looking at her longhaired brother. "Besides, he won't project here because I told Dumbledore not to let him anymore." 

Bill let out a breath as he picked up his cup. "Wow, I didn't know you hated him that much." 

"I don't hate him." 

"You saw him last night, he wasn't his usual swaggering self assured git: he's gutted." 

Ginny walked over to Bill and shook her head. "Bill, I am not exactly overjoyed you know. You think this isn't hard on me? You think this is my idea of fun? No, but I am over it. I'm...I'm over him." 

"Honestly, I think if you spoke to him that you would be able to work it out," Bill said with a shake of the head. "I don't like seeing you getting destroyed like this. It's been less than a day since you showed up and look at you! You would be able to fix this with one conversation." 

Ginny picked up the cup. "I don't want to talk to him!" 

"You are being cold!" 

She threw the cup at the wall angrily as she spun around, tears pricking her eyes. "You have no idea what I am being! I need a little support here and not a fucking lecture!" 

Bill looked at her and immediately stood up and wrapped his arms around her as she wiped her eyes vainly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Gin..." 

"Don't," she said as she let him hug her close. "Don't think that I find this easy..." 

"I know, I just hate seeing you like this. I prefer when you are being annoyingly in love with Malfoy." 

She leant in close to her brother and a single tear streaked down her face as she whispered her reply. "So do I..." 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Things had been pretty formulaic for Ginny in the two days that followed her return to the Burrow: she had kept things to a routine: a breakfast she couldn't eat followed by a walk, followed by visiting one of her brothers, followed by dinner which she would pick at which would be followed by bed. Her parents had returned the day after she had and had been shocked at their new house guest although Bill had even managed to prevent her mother and father asking the awkward questions they wanted to. Draco, for his part hadn't tried to contact her again directly, although Dumbledore had spoken to Molly on his behalf. 

She brushed her hair as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, the silver locket shimmering in the sun. She brushed her hand over it and gave the chain a hard pull so that it broke. She opened the locket and removed the enchanted rose petal that was still slowly changing as it had done every day since he had given her it on their first date. She lifted it up and smelled it and closed her eyes as the memories washed over her and couldn't stop the smile on her face. His touch, his charm, his insistence on sending the one boy as their own private messenger for a solid week during class...it had all surprised her. 

She sat the petal down and picked out the photo that was in the locket's frame. Looking back at her Draco was smiling as he swung her around as she kissed his cheek with a wave at the viewer. Her photo self was beaming like the Cheshire cat that they have in the muggle fairy tales while Draco was grinning happily as she ran her hands through his hair. She smiled again as she closed her eyes. That was taken just after their year anniversary when he was upset because he couldn't take her anywhere 'nice' because it wasn't safe. Instead he was forced to improvise and they spent the day in a muggle park in London before he took her back to the restaurant he had took her to on the first date: only sitting inside it this time. 

It had been a perfect night. One of many perfect nights. 

She put the photo down and wiped her eyes. Slow torture was always her strong point but she couldn't fight the fact that she wanted nothing more at that moment than to speak to him. 

"Well Ginny, what are you going to do? Sit here depressing yourself all day?" 

She shook her head before taking the photo and walking over to her desk and sitting down. She pulled a sheet of paper out and lifted a quill. She could write to him, writing to him would just let her see that he was okay. She didn't have to say anything important. She could keep it impersonal. 

She lifted the quill and began to write slowly. 

_Draco Malfoy,_

_ I was just enquiring as to your health. Please confirm your status when you receive this via owl post._

_Yours sincerely, Virginia Weasley_

She squinted as she read over the short note before shaking her head and rolling it into a ball and throwing it on the floor. "Try not to write like a bloody medi-witch all your days, Ginny." 

She groaned as she reached for another sheet. 

_Draco,_

_ It's just me. Has your father killed you yet? If the answer is no please feel free to get back to me via owl..._

She immediately screamed in frustration and tossed the letter away. Why couldn't she do it? Just write what she wanted to? 

_Because you said you wouldn't Ginny, you said you wouldn't think of him and here you are, thinking of him._

__

As her mind raced she pulled another sheet of paper forward and began to write slowly at first before speeding up. 

_Dear Draco,_

_ How are you? Well? Why am I writing this when I told you I wouldn't be thinking of you? The truth? I haven't been able to stop thinking of you: I close my eyes and you are there, I open them and your not and I hate it. I hate being away from you, I hate that this is the choice you made me make._

__

_I hate that you could end this by asking for my help instead of shutting me out. I hate it because I feel empty knowing you're not here._

__

_I hate you for being the only man I'll ever love._

__

_I want you to be safe Draco, that's all I want. Just, if nothing else be careful. Please._

__

_If you get back to Hogwarts after visiting your...after visiting her then owl me, apparate, anything._

__

_Stay safe, we have a lot to talk about if, when you get back._

__

_Love you,_

_Ginny._

She sat the quill down and wiped her eyes as she exhaled a deep breath feeling better now that she had been able to say what she had thought since she came back. She quickly scribbled his name on an envelope and stuffed the letter inside awkwardly before sitting it down on her desk and looking at it. 

Why was she doing this? She had told him, she had told him that she wouldn't sit back and watch him kill himself and here she was sending him a letter pretending that he was coming back to her. When did she get so deluded? She reached out and crumpled the envelope in her hand bitterly. What did it matter? He wouldn't get to see it anyway. 

She stood up and walked to the window and looked out at the perfect day when there was a knock on the door. 

"Come in." 

The door opened to reveal her mother standing there looking at her sadly. "Ginny?" 

"Yes?" Ginny said with a forced smile to her mother. 

Molly walked in and sat down at the desk and picked up the crumpled envelope. "Would you like me to get an owl for this?" 

"I...maybe later. I don't know what I'm doing yet." 

"How are you feeling? And please don't say fine." 

Ginny walked over to her bed and sat down. "Honestly? I feel better now that I've wrote that. Has...you know, Dumbledore talked to Dad today?" 

Molly shook her head. "I have no idea. Listen, I was thinking: you have to go back to work soon, why don't you see if you can go back to Munich for a few months if you can't face going back to Hogwarts? Bill is going back to Egypt to see Saffron so you could maybe even go with him..." 

"I...might I guess. I don't know what I'm doing yet. Poppy said that it was okay to take a few weeks if I needed to," she said as she looked down. "I should be okay to go back in a few days." 

"That's good, Ginny. But...what about Malfoy?" 

"What about him?" 

"Well, he'll be there won't he?" Molly said gently. 

"I suppose so, but that doesn't concern me. Really, I can be in the same place as him without throwing myself at him. I did manage it for 7 years believe it or not." 

Molly sighed and reached over and took her hand with a small smile. "That's true, but to be fair, you weren't in love with him then." 

"No. I wasn't...but you know something? I don't think I'm in love with him now. I mean, I have hardly thought about him since I came back. It was probably...some infatuation or something," she said as she stood and turned away from her mother. "You know, if it was love I would be a mess...but I'm not. If it was love he would have listened to me. But, I've hardly even thought about him..." 

Her voice was as weak as her statement and she knew it but Molly simply smiled at her daughter gently. "Of course you haven't. Well, I am going to go start dinner: some pasta - your favourite. Hopefully we'll see if we can get you to eat anything." 

"I'm not..." 

Before Ginny could finish her statement Molly had shook her head and cut her off. "Of course you are hungry. You haven't had a meal in days and that's not good for you. If you aren't thinking about him then prove it, this isn't how people act when they aren't thinking about things." 

"Okay..." Ginny replied quietly as Molly walked to the door. "Thanks." 

Molly spun around and smiled as she walked out the door. "It's fine. You know, no one is using the owl? You could have a message there by this afternoon." 

Ginny nodded her head and gave her mother a smile as she left. "Okay, I'll see..." 

She closed the door behind her mother and sighed as she looked at the letter sitting on the desk. It defeated the purpose of her leaving him if she sent a letter like it was okay. 

"This isn't about him Ginny, this is about you," she told herself quietly as she went to the envelope and began smoothing it out Just because she sent him it didn't mean it meant anything. 

She was silenced by another knock at the door followed by her brothers voice. "Ginny?" 

"I'll be down in a minute." 

The door opened up and Bill stuck his head in with a smile as he sat a small cage beside the door. "Mum asked me to bring this up, she said you might want it." 

Ginny looked down at the small owl and nodded her head. "Thanks Bill." 

"You okay?" 

"No, I'm contemplating jumping out the window to get away from the questions about whether I'm okay or not," she said with an exasperated sigh as she stood up. 

Bill nodded his head as he looked at her with a smirk. "Well, when you jump can you aim for the grass because it will be hellish trying to clean up the blood off the ground." 

She let a laugh out as she pushed him towards the door with a groan. "That's why we love you Bill, you're so practical." 

"Well, in this family someone has to be..." he said as she reached for the door handle. "Mum wants to know if you want anything special for dessert?" 

"Nah, I'm good..." 

He groaned as he turned around. "I swear I am going to get a spell that bans the word 'I'm' being followed by the words 'good', 'fine', 'great', 'peachy'..." 

"Peachy? I have never said peachy." 

He turned and looked at her. "That's a Charlie special...you know: 'how you doing Char?' And he would reply with 'Peachy'...you see why that would grow to bug a person..." 

Ginny let out a laugh. "I think I can remember that..." 

He looked at her and nodded his head. "Exactly so, you coming down?" 

"I'll be down in a few minutes," she gave a small wave as she closed the door. "Relax, I won't really jump you know." 

"If you do, remember..." He called in loudly with a laugh as she let out a groan. 

"Aim for the grass, thanks a lot!" 

"You're welcome!" 

She shook her head as she laughed. Bill was such...he just knew how to make her feel better. She would really miss him when he went back to Egypt. 

She sat down and looked at the letter before giving up fighting against it and walking over and picking up the cage with the owl. She walked over to the window: it would be so easy - give it the letter and then go and get on with her life. That would do it, she would know how he was. 

She had barely opened the owl's cage when there was another knock on her door. She slammed the cage shut in frustration as let out a growl. "I said I'd be down in a minute!" 

The door opened and her mother stood at it with Bill by her side. Ginny looked at them both and felt a sinking feeling in her stomach as she looked at their faces. This was it. The news she had expected but dreaded at the same time. The news she had prayed she wouldn't get. 

"You know..." she began quickly as she felt her hands begin to tremble as she looked at them. "You know, I really am not that hungry, so I'm going to go." 

She quickly went to her bed and grabbed her cloak before walking quickly towards the door. If she didn't hear it, it couldn't have happened. If she didn't know, it wasn't true. 

"Ginny..." Molly began quietly as Dumbledore stepped through the doorway behind Molly and Bill. 

Ginny looked at Dumbledore and let out a laugh, a hopeless humourless laugh as she backed off towards the window. "I *have* to go," she whispered as she looked at them all. Why couldn't they let her go? "I have to go now." 

"Ginny," Bill began as he took a step towards her. "You, you need to sit down." 

Ginny shook her head as she reached over and grabbed the silver locket off the desk and shoved it in her robes, followed by the photo. She didn't have to do anything apart from get out of this room, this house. It was suffocating. 

"I don't....I'm good. I just, I need to go see someone..." 

"Virginia, I think you need to sit down," Dumbledore said gravely as he looked at her. 

She looked at him angrily as she felt her hand tremble uncontrollably. "I don't need to sit down! Just...tell me, when?" 

"When what?" Molly asked sadly. 

She took a deep breath as she shoved her hand in her pocket and fought to keep her lip steady. "When...when did he die? I'm assuming that that's what you're all here for?" 

Dumbledore nodded his head in the affirmative and Ginny took a step back towards the wall to steady herself as she felt her legs buckle. A feeling of utter devastation flooded through her quickly as thousands of memories rushed through her head unbidden: his touch, the warmth of his skin, the way he would massage the back of her hand with his thumb when they held hands, the feel of his lips, the warmth of his breath... 

As she felt her breath catch in her throat she immediately forced all thoughts of him out her head. She would not cry. She told him she wouldn't and she wouldn't. He knew it would happen. She told him. 

He had died when he refused to see the truth. 

She forced herself to stand up straight and looked at Dumbledore as he began to talk quietly. "He...went home to see his mother last night." 

"How? How did he die?" Ginny asked as she forced herself to breath as normally as possible. 

"We...it's not really important." 

"Did...did they torture him?" 

"Ginny..." Molly began as she took a step towards her daughter. "That doesn't matter." 

"I want to know." 

Dumbledore didn't remove his gaze from Ginny as he spoke softly. "We believe the crucio was used." 

Ginny nodded her head slowly as she looked at him. "Okay. That's fine...thank you." 

Dumbledore looked at Bill and Molly as he took a step towards Ginny. "Is there anything else you would like to know?" 

Ginny shook her head as she felt a numbness overtake her. Tortured. Dead. Betrayed. That was all he was now - the words that would sum him up. A statistic. A coffin. A corpse. 

An idiot. 

"Did you even try and stop him? You know, committing suicide like he did?" She asked simply as she looked at her former headmaster and present day boss. "I mean, you must have known?" 

"Ginny," Dumbledore began gently, "I gave him as much advice as he wanted. But you saw what he was like..." 

"Is she still alive?" 

"Narcissa is still alive I believe. She was with Lucius this afternoon when they were in Knockturn Alley." 

Ginny felt a rage like she had never felt before burn at her. She was still alive and out shopping after she killed her son? Her only son? 

"I'll kill her..." Ginny whispered quietly as she dug her fingernails into her palm. 

Dumbledore cleared his throat awkwardly as he reached out and touched Ginny's shoulder. "There will be a memorial service on Friday for him at Hogwarts, the staff...some of them are quite upset." 

Ginny nodded her head slowly as she brushed past him. "That's fine. Listen, I don't want you all to think I'm being ignorant but I really...really do have to go." 

Bill looked at her as he reached out for her arm. "Ginny, you should stay. Dad will be home and he'll..." 

She didn't let Bill finish as she twisted out of his grasp and walked quickly out of the door away from them. She ran quickly down the stairs and out before anyone could follow her. As she stood outside the house she apparated quickly to the park less than a mile away, she just couldn't stay there with them. She couldn't deal with them thinking she would break. 

With them not really caring about what they had let happen. 

She pulled the picture out of the pocket and looked at the smiling image stoically. He knew it would happen yet he didn't care so why should she? She crumpled the picture up and threw it on the grass bitterly as she pulled her wand out and pointed it at the ruined photo and muttered a spell causing it to burst into flames. As the picture burned she stared at it. That was it over. Done. 

Forever. 

And she couldn't deal with any of it. 

_I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why?_

_Everything has changed around me?_

_I'd tell it to your face_

_But you lost your face along the way_

_And I'd say it on the phone_

_If I thought you were alone_

_Why do things have to change?_

__

_But you don't need my pictures on your wall,_

_You say you need no one_

_And you don't need my secret midnight call_

_I guess you need no one._

_Is anybody waiting at home for you?_

_Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven if it's hell or if it's_

_Anybody waiting at home for you_

_Cause it's time that will tell this tale...___

__


End file.
